Q: Is riding a whale a safe and ethical form of ecotourism?
A: There’s nothing more invigorating than bareback riding an orca. But have you ever stopped to consider whether or not you should? How would you feel if a whale tried to ride you? In the new groundbreaking documentary Riding Willy, filmmakers explore these questions and offer an existential and emotional exposé of people who ride whales, and of whales who ride people. It’s a must watch for anyone who wants to know what it really means to ride a whale or human.
Q: Is it true that Alaska is the number one nudists’ fishing destination in the world?
A: One of Alaska’s best kept secrets is that it has the potential to become a naturist fisherman’s paradise. More valuable than gold or oil, nude fishing culture is the greatest untapped resource of the north. Due to the budgetary crisis, our governor and congressional delegation are replacing the Permanent Dividend Fund with the Permanently Naked Fishing Fund. The politicians are planning a big naked fishing retreat to Bristol Bay to celebrate. One of them is especially excited. Besides getting new calf implants and “RESPECT” tattooed in Chinese calligraphy on his lower back, he has been rigorously tanning and pumping iron.
Q: Why was the Alaskan dating series Island of Seduction canceled?
A: The premise of Island of Seduction is that the cast—one Californian woman named Namaste and 50 Alaskan bachelors—are abandoned on an unnamed island in the Aleutians. The series started off promisingly as the men did yoga, practiced veganism, and got in touch with their emotions while competing for Namaste’s affection. This mirrors the dating scene in most of Alaska. After a couple months, however, starvation and scurvy set in. All the cannibalism became so repetitive and boring to watch that even Netflix wouldn’t pick the show up.
Q: Is it weird to be in love with fish?
A: No. My first childhood crush was on the female spokes-candy Green M&M. My second love was halibut. No one thinks I’m weird. My journey of discovering my fish-love is similar to that of many Alaskans. Any fisherman worth their crust will tell you there’s nothing prettier than a king salmon. A giant rainbow is a close second. Grayling can make even the strongest men and women tremble at the knees. Sheefish glow like the metallic wings of Mercury and cause many to burst into song and poetry. Let’s face it: Alaskan fish get the blood flowing and heart pounding harder than watching Dirty Dancing.